Anxcited for Canada


Anxious and excited

11.49pm, yet another night tossing and turning, unable to switch off.

It’s now just over a month until D-day when the Canadian adventure begins.

Am I ready? No.

My housemate (Mike) is staying for at least 6 months whilst I’m away. He introduced me to his friend, Sam, a couple of weeks ago as a potential additional tenant. <Thumbs up> a decent lad. Given that Mike has been great the last 9 months, I trust the boys will look after the property for me. My plants however, well, we’ll see! #cactussos.

Becoming a landlord requires a lot of effort, red tape and research. I’ve obtained a tenancy agreement, had the electrics tested and upgraded, a gas safety engineer confirm the property isn’t likely to kill anyone (and unintentionally show me his builders bum), spruced up the paintwork and written to all the relevant bill providers to tell them; “I’m off…tally ho.”

I still need to sort out landlord insurance, renew my mortgage and get consent to let, pack up the remainder of my belongings and leave my job. (Amongst a long list of other to-dos which will be ticked off in order of the amount of anxiety they cause/importance.)

Time. I don’t yet feel like I’ve properly thought about leaving this life here, my friends, family, cat and career. All things I know my emotions will hit me with when I get on that plane. It’s hard to even open my soul to those feelings right now, I’m going and I know it’s a chance and a choice I won’t regret.

This year and last has felt a lot like mental mountaineering, climbing against all weathers of emotions trying to see and take the optimum route. At times, the chosen route has been what’s easiest in the moment but detrimental in the long term. Sliding back down away from all the progressive steps taken, defeated, unsure if I can continue the climb to where I was, let alone any place past it.

When I go to Whistler, I will physically be facing real mountains, ready to be climbed, summits within reach. Mentally, I am determined for my mind to be present with my body when I get there. Here’s to hoping and continuing those steps forward.

Let’s tip the balance of anxiousness to excitement and hope I can now get a good nights rest.

Love SER x